CONTENT WARNING: This blog discusses topics of self-harm and suicide.
This September, RMU’s Authentic Inclusive Committee commemorated Suicide Awareness and Prevention Month by hosting a panel discussion about the topic as well as discussing a free training provided by the Zero Suicide Alliance. This training takes just one hour and gives excellent, practical advice on how to talk to others about suicide and prevent this tragedy from happening. You can watch a recording of the discussion below, where RMU employees and students share their own experiences with loss, suicide attempts, and suicidal ideation:
The biggest point the training makes is that if we notice something off, it’s important to be direct and ask the uncomfortable questions to our loved ones, friends, acquaintances, coworkers:
Are you thinking about suicide? Have you made a plan to go through with it?
One panelist, Lauren Porter, reminded us that once we’ve asked this question, we don’t have to be alone in getting help for the person. The 988 lifeline helps those in crisis themselves, as well as anyone present with an individual in crisis. If you call 988, a trained professional can help talk you through what to do next to help someone with you who is suicidal. There are also options for those who are deaf and hard-of-hearing as well as Spanish speakers. (Los servicios de llamada, texto, y chat de 988 Lifeline se ofrecen en español. Para comunicarse con un consejero que habla español, marque 988 y luego presione 2. Para enviar un mensaje de texto a un consejero que habla español, envié la palabra AYUDA al 988.)
In addition to the panel, members of the RMU community submitted their own insights and experience with suicide:
1. In what way(s) has suicide touched your life? What would you want other people to know about the experience of suicidal ideation or surviving a suicide attempt?
“I attempted suicide, following an extreme trauma that shattered my sense of safety. Returning to school to finish my dual masters at RMU has become part of how I am rebuilding: turning my pain into purpose.
“To anyone hurting the way I was, I want you to know this: the feelings that scream loudest are also the ones that pass. They feel permanent in the moment, but they are not. What matters most is having real support in place before the storm hits: someone to call, somewhere to go, a plan that doesn’t depend on how strong you feel that night. Reach out. Say the hard thing out loud. Let someone sit with you in the dark. You are not weak for needing help; you are human, and you are worth staying for.”
-Anonymous
2. In what ways has suicide touched your life?
“My family lost a 15-year-old member of our family. She experienced a depressive decline. It was quiet, and she masked it, consistent with a lifetime of conditioning to conceal distress. Observable signs in retrospect included withdrawal, guardedness, slowness to trust, quickness to recoil, and not so quiet warnings showing from inside. A few short months later, she died by suicide. We would be standing at her beautiful graveside. I beg those of us in healthcare. Screen the popular ones too. Be there. Be present. Have empathy.”
-Anonymous
3. What would you want other people to know about the experience of suicidal ideation or surviving a suicide attempt?
“Suicidal ideation thrives in an environment void of connection. Perceived synergy and congruence, not from pity or projection, can reduce suicidal ideation. Phrases such as, ‘You are so done with trying,’ ‘You’re sick of hoping,’ or ‘You’ve tried all the ‘right things’ but those haven’t been working,’ would serve to validate the person’s need for recognition of effort without reinforcing a distorted belief that they have tried every method available. These intentionally articulated phrases allow a backdoor into generating hope. They validate the person’s actions while permitting the existence of possibility.”
– Marian Johnson, Counseling Student
If you or anyone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please don’t hesitate to act. Reach out. Ask the hard questions. Be there. Ask for help. Open up.
The world is a better place with you in it.
As our anonymous contributor above said, “You are not weak for needing help; you are human, and you are worth staying for.”
